Enabling Worksheet - The 20 Minute Guide - Free Printable

Let’s work through this step by step.

This worksheet is asking you to fill in the missing actions — either a “positive reinforcement” action or an “enabling” action — based on what’s already given. The goal is to understand the difference:

- Positive reinforcement = encouraging good behavior by rewarding it (in a healthy way).
- Enabling = helping someone continue bad behavior, even if you think you’re being kind.

We’ll go row by row and figure out what fits.

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Row 1:
Given: *Your wife gets home on time and sober... you offer to warm something up for her.*
→ This is a positive reinforcement action (rewarding her for being sober and on time).
Missing: An enabling action that would be the opposite — like letting her know it’s okay to come home late or drunk next time? Or maybe giving her money so she can buy more substances? Let’s pick something clear.

Example enabling action: *You tell her not to worry about coming home early again — just do what feels right.*

But wait — we need to match the tone. Since the positive one is caring but supportive, the enabling one should sound caring but actually hurtful long-term.

Better example: *You say, “It doesn’t matter if you’re late or not — I’ll always have dinner ready for you.”* → That removes accountability.

Actually, let’s keep it simple and direct.

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Row 2:
Given: *Your boyfriend is struggling to keep his job because of substance use. You let him quit to study for exams.*
→ This is enabling — you’re removing consequences instead of helping him face them.
Missing: A positive reinforcement action — like praising him when he shows up to work sober, or helping him make a plan to stay employed while studying.

Example: *You help him create a schedule that balances work and studying, and praise him when he sticks to it.*

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Row 3:
Given: *Your partner isn’t supporting himself financially due to spending on substances. You pay for his gym membership to improve his mental health.*
→ This is tricky — it sounds helpful, but since he’s not taking responsibility, paying for things might enable him to avoid fixing the root problem. So this is likely meant to be an enabling action.
Missing: A positive reinforcement action — like saying, “I believe in you — how can I support you in getting your finances under control?” or offering to help him budget.

Example: *You sit down with him to make a budget together and celebrate each week he saves money instead of spending on substances.*

Wait — actually, looking at the structure, Row 3 has the positive reinforcement side filled in? No — let me recheck.

Looking back:

Row 3 left column (Positive reinforcement):
*Your partner is not supporting himself financially... you agree to pay for his gym membership.*
→ Hmm, that seems like enabling, not positive reinforcement. But according to the table layout, this is listed under “Positive reinforcement actions.” Maybe the exercise wants us to see that sometimes well-intentioned acts are actually enabling? Or perhaps there’s a mistake?

Actually, no — rereading the instructions: “For each row, take the reinforcement action (or the enabling action) that is given and fill in the missing action.”

So in Row 3, the LEFT side (positive reinforcement) is given as: paying for gym membership. But that feels wrong — unless the point is that it’s NOT truly positive reinforcement? Wait — maybe I misread.

Let me look again at the original image description.

In Row 3:
Left (Positive reinforcement): *Your partner is not supporting himself financially... you agree to pay for his gym membership.*
Right (“Enabling” actions): blank

That suggests the worksheet considers paying for gym membership as positive reinforcement — which may be debatable, but for the sake of the exercise, we accept it as given. Then we must write an enabling action for the right side.

What would be enabling here? Maybe: *You give him cash every month so he doesn’t have to worry about bills, even though he keeps spending on substances.*

Or: *You cover his rent so he doesn’t feel pressure to get a job.*

Yes — those remove natural consequences.

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Row 4:
Given: *Your girlfriend got in a fight with her sister... you tell her it’s okay that she drink at home.*
→ Clearly enabling — using alcohol to cope with emotions.
Missing: Positive reinforcement action — like listening to her feelings, helping her call her sister later, or suggesting a walk or journaling.

Example: *You listen without judging, then suggest going for a walk together to calm down before talking to her sister.*

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Row 5:
Given: *Your husband is using substances off and on. You continue Sunday pancakes as long as he arrives clear-headed.*
→ This is positive reinforcement — you’re rewarding sobriety during family time.
Missing: Enabling action — like ignoring his substance use outside of Sundays, or making excuses for him.

Example: *You tell everyone he was tired after work, even when you know he used substances earlier that day.*

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Now, compiling all answers clearly and simply for the student:

Final Answer:

Here are sample answers to complete the worksheet:

Row 1 – Missing “Enabling” action:
You tell your wife it’s okay to come home late or not sober — just relax and don’t stress about it.

Row 2 – Missing “Positive reinforcement” action:
You encourage your boyfriend to talk to his boss about adjusting his hours so he can keep his job while studying, and praise him when he does.

Row 3 – Missing “Enabling” action:
You pay his monthly bills so he doesn’t have to worry about money, even though he still spends on substances.

Row 4 – Missing “Positive reinforcement” action:
You listen to her feelings, hug her, and suggest calling her sister tomorrow when she’s calmer — instead of drinking.

Row 5 – Missing “Enabling” action:
You excuse his substance use during the week by telling friends he’s been stressed and needs space — even though it hurts his recovery.

These examples show how small differences in response can either support growth or unintentionally allow harmful behaviors to continue.