1. The story is told from the first-person point of view (using "I").
Yes, it is a good choice because it creates suspense and allows the reader to experience the narrator’s fear and surprise directly, making the prank feel more personal and immediate.
2. Inner monologue examples:
- When reaching for the doorknob: “Please don’t be anything scary… just a loose pipe or something.”
- After hearing the laugh: “Oh no, it’s Tim! He’s going to make me look like a fool again!”
- When the light turns on: “Thank goodness—it’s just him. I’m so relieved… but also totally embarrassed.”
3. Rewritten in third-person limited (focusing on the narrator):
She sat at the empty swim club, nervously wondering if tonight would be the night. It was almost 8:30 p.m., time to go down and close the indoor pool. She sighed, knowing Tim could get into any of the club entrances with his key.
At 8:40, she finished covering the pool. Now it was time to go down to the lower level to turn off the indoor pool light switch in the boiler room. She despised the boiler room. It was dark, dank, full of mysterious hisses and moans made by the machinery. After turning off the light, she would run back upstairs, away from the unseen terrors of the lower level. Now it was time to enter it again.
She reached for the doorknob, hesitantly. Her inner voice whispered, “Please don’t be anything scary… just a loose pipe or something.” She pushed open the door with shaking hands. Silence. She took a step, the darkness enveloping her. She reached for the light switch when—“BOOOOOO!” Something grabbed her, laughing maliciously. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” she screamed hysterically and burst into tears.
The light switched on and there was Tim, laughing heartily. “Ha, ha, I got you!” he said with a satisfied gleam in his eye.
Her inner monologue now: “Oh no, it’s Tim! He’s going to make me look like a fool again!” Then, as the light came on: “Thank goodness—it’s just him. I’m so relieved… but also totally embarrassed.”
The story changes by creating slight emotional distance—the reader observes her fear rather than feeling it directly. However, adding inner monologues restores some intimacy. Nothing essential is lost; the humor and tension remain intact, though the immediacy of the first-person perspective is slightly softened.
Parent Tip: Review the logic above to help your child master the concept of teaching point of view worksheet.
