- I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
- Did you hear about the new pencils with an eraser on each end? I just don't see the point.
- Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sunday School
- I’d like to thank all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- I’m terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
- I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a couple days off.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten Tickles
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison
- How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite
- What’s brown & sticky? A stick.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
- The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together.
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
- Why don’t crabs give to charity? They’re a little shellfish.
- Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Parent Tip: Review the logic above to help your child master the concept of printable funny jokes.
