- Q. What's the difference between a foot spa and a bad drummer?
A. The foot spa bucks up the feet
- Q. Why did the student let off steam?
A. Because he was kettled
- Q. What do you call a fear of climbing down chimneys?
A. SantaClaustrophobia
- Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. It was walking to work as it could no longer afford the train fare
- Q. What do Santa Claus and Chris Hughton have in common?
A. They both think Mike Ashley's a c**t
- Q. Where does a snowman keep his drug paraphernalia?
A. In a small concealed bag made of snow somewhere inside of him.
- Q. How do you make Santa cry?
A. Pinch his sack
- Q. Why did the bauble text his ex?
A. He was out of his tree
- Q. What's the difference between an incontinent man & J Assange?
A. One has a leaky wick and the other a wiki leak
- Q. Why does Rudolph have a dry, flaky skin condition that causes red irritable patches?
A. Because he suffers from Xmas
- Q. Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
A. Because he forgot he had pledged not to
- Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. A foundation diploma in Creative and Media.
- Q. How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
A. Poker face
- Q. What do you get if you mix oil & money?
A. A FIFA decision
- Q. What did one snowman say to the other?
A. That's weird can you smell carrots?
- Happy fucking Christmas from thepoke.co.uk
Parent Tip: Review the logic above to help your child master the concept of christmas cracker jokes printable pdf.
